Ephriam’s Ribs – Restaurant Review

If you are daring enough to brave the ghetto, you must eat here. It’s tucked away between scrapyards and body shops, in a not-so-good neighborhood between union and circle, just south of Platte Ave. When we pulled up there was a cop in the parking lot. Mark and I joked that “at least we have protection”, but it turned out that the cop wasn’t there to eat… he was taking a report! I don’t know what it was about, but we went into eat anyways.

The first thing we noticed when we walked in was the smells. It smelled awesome. A smokey, meaty aroma permeates the entire building, and we were salivating before we sat down.

The menu is simple. Everything they serve fits one one side of a single page. I was immediately impressed by the prices of their drinks ($1.25) and desserts ($1.50 to $2.00) – these are two areas that restaurants usually gouge you. I ordered the sampler plate, which includes 1 rib, 1 slice of brisket, 1 sausage link, and 1 hot link, along with 2 sides. I chose red beans and rice, and collard greens. I had never tried collard greens before, and in fact had no idea what they were, but I’ve often heard them associated with southern cooking, so I figured I’d give it a shot.

Service was a touch slow, but very friendly. Just as we were starting to get antsy, it arrived.

First of all, be aware that the picture above does not do the food justice. It was slathered with sweet BBQ sauce, so hard to really get a good look at what was underneath. The cornbread muffin was very good, but not quite as sweet as I like. The red beans and rice weren’t actually made with red beans… they were pinto beans! Still it tasted good and was loaded with sausage, It was pretty mild, not spicy like some.

I ate the collard greens, but I probably won’t order them again. I don’t think this is a failing of Ephriam’s – they are just a little too close to spinach for my tastes. Not horrible, but not my thing.

Now for the good part – the meat! My order of preference was ribs > brisket > hot link > sausage. The sausage was pretty standard fare. Mark commented that it tasted exactly like the Hillshire Farms smoked sausage that he often buys at the grocery store. The hot links were good, but not super hot. The brisket was a tad dry on the outside, but perfect in the middle – delicious. Finally, the ribs. The ribs are were its at. These are the reason to come to Ephriam’s. The sign out front says “Ephriam’s Ribs” for a reason. They were big and meaty, and smoked perfectly. They fell off the bone as I was eating them. Not too much fat, but not too little either. Perfect. These ribs are awesome, and they are the reason I’ll be back.

I love eating dessert, but I usually pass because restaurants charge too damn much for them. It’s not uncommon to see desserts selling for 6 dollars or more! It’s insane! The portions are also insanely huge. After I’m done eating, I don’t need to eat a dessert that is as big as my meal was! Most places could cut their dessert prices in half, and give me a third of the portion, and I’d be happy. Sure, I’d be paying more by volume, but the final price would be reasonable, and the portion would be perfect. Restaurants need to get this through their thick skulls. Thankfully, Ephriam’s has! I ordered a slice of sweet potato pie for a mere two bucks.

Looks like a slice of pie, right? Well, this isn’t just any slice of pie. It’s the best piece of sweet potato pie I’ve ever eaten. It was amazing. The crust, the filling, everything – just right. I asked the waitress if they made it on site, and she told me that everything was made from scratch, by “Louis”, in the kitchen.

As we were leaving, I saw an old man out back, working the smoker. I approached, and asked if he was Louis. He told me “Nope, I’m Ephriam, Louis is inside.” I proceeded to tell him how awesome I thought his ribs and Louis’ pie were. Ephriam pulled a huge rack of ribs out of the smoker and showed me “how they were supposed to look”, then he yelled through the back door for Louis. Shortly, another old man came out to meet me. I expressed my love for his pie, and shook his hand.

So, not everything was a surefire hit, but the things that did, hit big. I’ll be back for the ribs, pie, and friendly people. No doubt about it.